NYAZE'S

God said, I am not sky
And there was sky
I am not world
And there was world
Not man
And there was man
Not garden
And there was garden
Not serpent
And there was serpent
Not sin
And there was sin
God said, I am not the fall
And all fell
I am not lost,
And all was lost,
Not confusion
And all was confused
Not all,
And all was
Said, I am salvation
Damnation followed
I am Heaven
And brought forth Hell
I am the truth
And there was darkness
Am light
And there was despair
God said I am
And wasn’t
I am God
And there was none
Only sky
Only world
Only garden
Only serpent
And sin
The fall
And loss
And confusion
And damnation
Heaven
Hell
Darkness/Light
…
Then no Light
No darkness
No all or nothing
Not even no
No things
All emptied
Only thus
God said, I am not all
And there was.

i.

FIRST THINK OF WHAT YOU WANT TO SHOW
THEN TELL A STORY ABOUT IT
IN THE MOST EXAGGERATED
RELATIVELY LEAST ABSURD WAY POSSIBLE
…OR NOT

YOU MUST BE SELFISH TO WRITE. YOU CAN HARBOR NO ALTRUISTIC DELUSIONS.

YOU MUST BE SELFISH TO LIVE. GOD ISN’T LOVE. GOD IS WANT.

ii.

YOU ARE NOT A BETTER PERSON
OR BECOMING ONE
IN THE MOST REALISTIC SCENARIO IMAGINABLE
RIGHT NOW
YOU ARE DOING THE BEST AND WORST YOU CAN
THERE’S NO WINNING IN A RAT RACE
BUT YOU’VE GOT TO KEEP YOUR SPIRITS UP
WITHOUT BEING AN INSUFFERABLE ASSHOLE
AND STILL KEEP A HEART OF GOLD
WHILE NEVER SELLING YOURSELF SHORT
BUT WITH THE BEST INTENTION
OF MAXIMIZING YOUR RETURNS
YOU DESERVE IT ISN’T ENOUGH
YOU’VE GOT TO EARN IT BABY
BUT YOUR MONEY’S NO GOOD
YOU’RE LIVING LIKE IT’S GOING OUT OF STYLE
AND THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE WANNA SEE
SO WHATEVER YOU DO DON’T PLAY IT SAFE
UNLESS YOU WANT TO KEEP THAT THING
IT’S ABOUT FIFTY FIFTY EITHER WAY
SO JUMP IN DEEP
NOW YOU’RE GETTING THE HANG OF IT
BUT DON’T GET COCKY
NOBODY LIKE’S A FUCKING SHOW OFF
UNLESS YOU’VE REALLY GOT THAT IT FACTOR
THEN THE SKY’S THE LIMIT
BUT ONLY TO A POINT
YOU’VE GOT TO BE REASONABLE IN THIS ONE REGARD
IT’S ALL THAT SEPARATES US FROM THEM
SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO BUT LEAN IN
EVERYONE’S ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT THEMSELVES
BUT NOT YOU
YOU’VE GOT YOUR OWN
AND YOU’RE GOING PLACES
IF YOU’RE INTO THAT SORT OF THING

iii.

THIS THING COMES WITH A HELL OF AN OFF SWITCH
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY
TURN A PROBLEM INTO A FEATURE
LOL
YOU DON’T SAY
NOT THAT I WOULD KNOW
I USED TO DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE BUT I’M IN A BETTER SPACE NOW
YOU’VE JUST GOT TO LEARN TO RELEASE
LET IT GO
FIND YOUR HAPPY PLACE
THE WORLD IS JUST YOU KNOW
KARMA
YOU GET WHAT YOU GIVE
AND YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE
AREN’T YOU
DO THEY SAY
WELL I WOULDN’T WORRY
THESE THINGS WORK THEMSELVES OUT
IT’S LIKE WE’RE ALL PARTS OF A WHOLE
VIOLENTLY TRYING TO BECOME ONE
LIKE THE BIG BANG IN REVERSE
BUT HAPPENING ALL THE TIME
IN EVERY LIVING TOUCH
WHICH IS WHY WE’RE ALL BASICALLY GOOD
AT DOING WHATEVER WE WANT
BECAUSE WE’RE GOD
AND WE DON’T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER

(FROM THE BAD GUY HANDBOOK FOR SELF-DEFENSE)

forest fire burning with god
unholy light and savage
the undergrowth molded to the shape
and all the abyss sprawled below
there is no where to go in the great new now
with all its joy and dis
irony and cake are her satisfactions
and we bask in moronic glow
the absolute runs its course and of course
we are bound to the circle that spins
everywhere at once
but not once
we are again
heaven sent us and we came
our name shattered into the dust
it’s still falling a million years later
and the trees remember
but not me
my roots don’t drink
i am once again the object
you see me
but i do not look or stop
i am
and this becomes
and this is all

Sometimes desperation is a form of hope

Shotgun blasts and the north star over your shoulder running into the absolute dark
Child the night riders and hellhounds loping toward dawn with fear and burning
There in the valley of unlettered wilderness surrounded on all sides by slavering beasts

Sometimes madness is a form of strength

Bloody foot bent kneed I will help you up even if we both go down
Not always but now just now when it must be and somewhere an ancestor sighs hallelujah
Don’t know how but found a Moses and neck deep in the cold slime lost a brother but kept on
Dried off in the shivering huddled nowhere and vibrated with empty shudders
Heard nothing for miles and slept a frantic few hours of peace until I woke to the dogs
Not for all the years of methuselah I ran like lucifer out of heaven until the buckshot hit and didn’t stop

I did not stop

I. did. not. stop.

Apollo’s chariot swings low
First twilight seeping in by gradients
I hear her breathing next to me like an unplayed reed
Morning’s music.
Drums come stampeding down the hallway
The chamber doors implode with trickster glee
All rises to crescendo
As twilight thins into radiance
Peace replaced by tumbling satyrs
Gravity ignored, time renewed,
A nova of smiles and limbs
The all-fire of the cosmos
All the moon and stars and metaphors that ever were
And I, Icarus.